Ramirez Jonathan
Carpe Diem
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Worlds Shortest Transmasc Falls Between Couch Cushions Never To Be Seen Again
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From 1850-1920 all great writers were neurotic hermits who lived on one piece of bread per day and never left their tiny Parisian flats. Then from 1920-1980 all great writers were philandering boozehounds who loved swimming and barbiturates. But across eras, all great writers have remained, at heart, closeted homosexuals
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george is too relateable
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miguel being absolutely done with everyone and everything
I swear I can see Oscar’s judgy bitchface through the animated Miguel mask
They Oscar’d this boy so hard.
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THE MURDOCK HOTNESS/PAIN SCALE:
A qualitative scale indicating that Matt Murdock’s hotness is directly proportional to the level of pain he is experiencing
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Without this, I’m not alive. I’m not. Not really. And I know that now, thanks to you. I don’t know what we are together, and if we have any chance in the future, I don’t… But I do know that I’m free with you. Like with no one else.
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THERE IS A HAUNTED HOUSE ON THE ALIEN PLANET WHERE SELENE SAYS SHE RELIVED HER MEMORIES BUT THEY WERE CORRUPTED AND IT WASN’T SAFE
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Onto a game I actually finished, Returnal! I’ve gotten to the credits sequence, I have a bit left to discover but enough done to say I’ve beat it.
Returnal is a boomer shooter sci fi roguelike third person shooter bullet hell. It is many things, its also one of the best games I’ve played. I feel its plot has a few shortcomings, but they stem from the game reaching to play on a higher level of character and theme than most other games are willing to compete in.
As Selene you crash your ship Helios on an alien planet Atropos. You run through the various biomes, collect boons and malfunctions, try new guns, and square off against difficult bosses. Eventually you die, you wake at the site of the crash, and you go again. Occasionally there’s a 20th century house you explore a la Silent Hills PT, and I mean that in a positive way. Those sections are great.
Returnal is queen in its sound design, its moods, its art direction, some areas are like walking through a Beskinski painting. Its mechanically tight with fascinating play between guns, upgrades, and risk/reward parasites. Hades may have made the perfect Roguelike, Returnal is here to say “but what about this?” The game releases for PC later next year and I highly recommend it. In addition to the core gameplay loop there’s a co-op mode, a dark souls esque assist someone in their world with the ability to revive each other if one goes down to make some of the bosses much less nuts, and there’s an entire tower of sysaphus zone that lets you maximize the game’s mechanics and play to their full potential. The game is a total package, it feels great. The fourth boss of the game is one of the highest points of any game I’ve played.
Returnal is a thoroughly quality game. Even where it lacks, where I feel parts of the story are weaker, there’s many other parts of the story that are extremely strong. One sequence in particular made me lose my gotdamn mind. It gives me the speed I crave from Bloodborne and the live fast die hard of my favorite roguelikes, and is one of the best games you can play on ps5.
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Returnal comes across this absolute slam dunk idea to frame recursive generational trauma as an endless loop, fitting it over its roguelike structure like a glove. Really palpable the way form and function marry in that regard, but it does get a bit too excited and lost up its horror sauce to explore selene’s psychology more clearly as the second act winds down. We’re still working our way to the final encounter so I don’t know if there’s any catharsis to be had or if the narrative is firmly on the side of grief being a bottomless pit, but it’s still nice to see a game commit to theme this fucking hard down to its very bones. I love seeing this so, so much.
I do get burnt out on turbo misery narratives quickly, so I’m just experiencing it through my partner for now. And maybe that blinds me from whatever context the pew-pews may enrich the story with. Fantastic combat system though, no air bubbles trapped under any creases, oiled to perfection. Sound design rocks too, the entire Hyperion fight was a Remedy-ass musical moment. And aesthetically it’s legit Mass Effect’s Ilos: The Videogame that I always dreamed of, turned up to 11 :D
